Stage Fright Read online

  Stage Fright

  Written by Peter Bently

  Illustrated by Chris Harrison

  Albert Whitman & Company

  Chicago, Illinois

  For Theo and Tara

  P.B.

  For my Dad

  C.H.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Ghoul Show

  Chapter 2

  First Night Nerves

  Chapter 3

  Snow Fright in a Flap

  Chapter 4

  The Show Must Go On

  Chapter 5

  A Screaming Success

  Chapter 6

  The Mystery Guest

  Chapter 1

  Ghoul Show

  The school clock was striking nine when a small bat zoomed up to the main entrance of St. Orlok’s Elementary School. The bat hovered in front of the doors for a moment, then with a POP! it turned into a boy. It was Lee Price, and he was late for school. Vampire school.

  Lee dashed through the doors—and almost crashed right into Mr. E. Gore, the school janitor.

  “Hey! Votch vere you’re going!” grumbled Mr. Gore.

  “Sorry!” called Lee, speeding down the corridor with his black cape flapping behind him.

  “Late again, huh?” yelled Mr. Gore.

  He shook his fist so hard that little flakes of rotten skin flew off it like green dandruff. “Pesky vampire kids! So unreliable! Ve zombies are always dead on time!”

  Lee reached his classroom and burst in just as his teacher, Miss Gargoyle, was taking roll call. All the other young vampires turned to stare at him.

  “Sorry I’m late, miss!” he gasped breathlessly, plonking himself down at a table next to his friends Billy Pratt and Bella Williams.

  “Really, Lee,” sighed Miss Gargoyle. She peered at the clock. “I nearly marked you absent. Tonight of all nights!”

  “Sorry, Miss. I forgot my costume and had to go back home for it.”

  “Good grief!” panicked Miss Gargoyle. “Has anyone else forgotten their phantomime costume?

  “No, Miss Gargoyle!” chorused the class.

  “Thank goodness for that,” said Miss Gargoyle with relief. “There’s enough to think about as it is!”

  Later that night, Miss Gargoyle’s class was performing Snow Fright and the Seven Dwarfs in the school hall. Lee had the part of Gnashful, the dwarf who was always angry.

  “Mith Gargoyle! Mith Gargoyle!” piped up Lucy West, who was going to be the Wicked Queen. “My cothtume is bound to be the betht. Shall I show it to the clath?”

  “Typical West the Pest,” whispered Bella. “Any excuse to show off!” Bella was playing Princess Snow Fright.

  “I know,” agreed Lee.

  “At least she’s stopped boasting about how many fangs she’s lost.”

  “Yeah,” said Billy, who was playing the hunter who took Snow Fright into the forest. “And about how the Fang Fairy gives her two dollars for each fang.”

  Lucy scowled at them and stuck her tongue out.

  “We’ll see all the costumes after break, when we have our dress rehearsal,” said Miss Gargoyle firmly. “Until then, it’s lessons as usual.”

  “Aw, miss!” groaned the class.

  “Quiet, please, everyone!” said Miss Gargoyle. “Today we are going to practice the Three Ss. Does anyone know what that stands for?”

  “What about scaring, staring, and startling?” suggested Bella.

  “Or shrieking, screaming, and screeching?” said Big Herb, secretly popping three candies into his mouth when he thought Miss Gargoyle wasn’t looking.

  “More like scoffing, slurping, and stuffing your face,” chuckled Lee. Nobody had been surprised when Miss Gargoyle had chosen Herb to play Chompy, the greediest of the Seven Dwarfs.

  “Good guesses,” said Miss Gargoyle, neatly swiping Big Herb’s hidden stash of candies. “But to begin with, let’s all turn into bats.”

  Everyone said the words that Miss Gargoyle had taught them:

  “I’m a bat, a bat is me.

  A bat is all I want to be.”

  And with a volley of soft POPs, they all became bats, fluttering merrily around the classroom.

  Big Herb managed it on his second try. The first time around, his mouth was so full of candy that he said mat instead of bat and turned into a flying carpet.

  “Now, listen and watch carefully,” squeaked Miss Gargoyle, who was now a little brown bat. “The first two Ss are swooping and swerving.”

  Miss Gargoyle swooped and swerved all around the room, skillfully dodging columns, walls, desks, and other bats.

  “Wow!” said Lee. “Cool! Wait till I show Boris!” Lee’s friend Boris was a real bat who lived in the school clock tower.

  Miss Gargoyle hovered in midair to get her breath back.

  “The third S,” she went on, “is skulking. This is particularly handy when you need to turn into a bat—or back into a vampire—without any Fangless folk seeing you. When you need a place to skulk, my tip is to remember the Three Cs: columns, curtains, and corners.”

  “What kind of corners?” said Lee.

  “Three-D ones are best,” said Miss Gargoyle.

  “What?” asked Billy. “As in a 3-D movie?”

  “No,” said Miss Gargoyle. “As in dark, damp, and dingy. Okay class, now you all have a try.”

  They practiced the three Ss until the bell rang for break.

  “Well done, everybody,” said Miss Gargoyle. “That’s the end of our lessons for today. See you after break in the school hall for the dress rehearsal.” She glanced over at Lee. “And don’t forget your costumes!”

  Chapter 2

  First Night Nerves

  During break, Lee, Bella, and Billy sat together. Lee gobbled up a packet of Drac’s Snacks, but Billy and Bella ate hardly anything at all.

  “I—I can’t eat,” quivered Billy. “I’m so nervous about this stupid phantomime. I dunno why I said I’d be in it. I hate acting!”

  “You’ll be fine,” said Lee. “The hunter hasn’t got much to say, not like—”

  “ATCHOO!”

  Bella sneezed so loudly that Lee dropped his snack and Billy almost jumped out of his seat.

  “Yikes, Bella!” said Lee. “That was loud enough to wake up a zombie!”

  “Sorry,” said Bella. “I’ve got a little cold. I don’t think I should have done so much skulking during the last lesson.”

  “Well, you did manage to find the darkest and dampest corner,” said Billy. “It took us forever to find you.”

  “My throat feels funny, too,” said Bella.

  “You’re probably just nervous,” said Lee. “After all, you have the biggest part.”

  “And you have to sing those songs all by yourself,” Billy chipped in. Miss Gargoyle had asked Bella to play Snow Fright because she had the best voice in the class.

  “Yeah,” said Lee. “In front of the whole school.”

  “And lots of parents and friends,” said Billy.

  “Oh thanks, guys!” groaned Bella. “You’ve really cheered me up!”

  Lee hastily changed the subject.

  “Miss Gargoyle said there’s going to be a special mystery guest,” he said. “I wonder who it is.”

  “No idea,” said Billy. “Didn’t she say the mayor is coming? Maybe it’s him.”

  “Oh, durrr!” snorted Bella. “The whole point of a mystery guest is that you don’t know who it is, silly.”

  “All right,” said Billy. “Keep your cape on!”

  “It’s no good,” said Bella. “I just can’t eat. Does anyone want my snack?”

  Big Herb was at the next table. Hearing the offer of free food, he whizzed around like a tornado.

  “I’ll have it!” he said thr
ough a huge mouthful of black pudding sandwich, some of which sprayed out onto his shirt. Then he looked at Bella’s tub of beetroot salad and shook his head. “Yurggh! Actually, no thanks Bella. I forgot you’re a vegetarian.”

  Chapter 3

  Snow Fright in a Flap

  After break, Lee, Bella, and Billy went straight to the hall and changed into their phantomime costumes.

  “OK, seven dwarfs,” said Miss Gargoyle. “Let’s run through the “Work Song” one last time.”

  Lee and the six other vampire dwarfs all marched across the stage in a line. They were Gappy, Snappy, Flappy, Creepy, Chompy, Gnashful, and Shock.

  As they marched, they sang—

  “POP-POP! POP-POP!

  We’ll work until we stop!

  We’re a scary sight,

  but we won’t bite!

  POP-POP! POP-POP!”

  On the final POP! they all changed into bats and fluttered off into the wings.

  “Excellent!” said Miss Gargoyle. “Now, let’s hear Snow Fright’s song.”

  Bella stood up and opened her mouth.

  “Someday my count will—URK!”

  She coughed and started again.

  “Someday—URK!” Bella spluttered to a halt. “I can’t do it!” she croaked faintly. “I’ve lost my voice!”

  “Oh dear!” said Miss Gargoyle anxiously. “What are we going to do? We can’t do Snow Fright and the Seven Dwarfs without Snow Fright!”

  “Perhaps someone else could be Snow Fright?” suggested Lee.

  Lucy West stepped forward.

  “I’ll do it, Mith Gargoyle!” she said. “I’ve memorized all the wordth. And I can thing much better than Bella any day,” she bragged.

  Bella glared at Lucy, but Miss Gargoyle said, “Sorry, Lucy. If you play Snow Fright, we’ll just need someone else to play the Wicked Queen. We’ll be back where we started.”

  “And no one could be a better Wicked Queen than you, Lucy,” said Lee innocently. “You’re perfect for the part!”

  He winked at Bella as Lucy stomped off with her nose in the air.

  “What we need,” said Miss Gargoyle, “is someone who can sing but doesn’t have a very big part.”

  “But it’s too late for anyone else to learn the words!” rasped Bella. “Oh, the phantomime is going to be ruined, and it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry!”

  “Hang on,” said Lee. “I’ve got an idea …”

  Chapter 4

  The Show Must Go On

  The show began at three o’clock. At a quarter to three, Lee’s mom and dad arrived backstage with his friend Ollie Talbot, who went to Chaney Street School for young werewolves.

  “Hi, Ollie,” said Lee, who was now dressed as a vampire dwarf, with a short green cape, pointy red hat, and a fake red beard.

  “Hi, Lee,” said Ollie. “Cool costume! You should wear that to school every day.”

  “Ha-ha, very funny,” said Lee. “This beard itches like crazy! I hate having hair all over my face.”

  “Oh, you get used to it,” grinned Ollie.

  “Good luck, Lee,” said Dad cheerfully. “Seeing you on stage takes me back to my days with the Bat City Strollers. Did I ever play you our recording of “Fang-A-Lang”? It got to number ninety-eight in 1979.”

  “Yes, Dad,” sighed Lee. “Only about a million times.”

  “Gimme a break!” came Billy’s voice behind them. They turned to see Billy, dressed as the hunter, struggling to untangle his bow from the folds of Snow Fright’s cape.

  “Don’t pull so hard,” said Bella. “You’ll tear it!”

  Billy finally yanked the bow free.

  “It’s bad enough trying to remember my lines without having to carry this stupid bow,” he moaned. “It just gets in the way!”

  “Just relax,” said Lee. “You’ll be fine. You’re only on in the first scene.”

  Lee’s mom looked at her watch.

  “It’s five to three!” she said. “We’d better get back to our seats. The hall’s almost full. All the parents have come, and lots of friends, as well as a party of werewolves from Ollie’s school. I’ve spotted several mummies, too, and there’s even a row of zombies right next to us. But I think they’ve fallen asleep.”

  “No, they haven’t,” said Ollie. “They always look like that.”

  Mom blew Lee a kiss.

  “Good luck, darling. And try not to look so angry. I’m sure it’ll all be fine!”

  “I’m Gnashful,” said Lee. “I’m meant to look angry!”

  “Right,” said Miss Gargoyle after Mr. and Mrs. Price and Ollie had taken their seats. “It’s three o’clock. Let’s go for it!”

  She strode out in front of the audience. “Good evening, everyone! The children have all worked really hard for tonight’s show, and we hope you enjoy it. I have great pleasure in presenting Snow Fright and the Seven Dwarfs!”

  She returned backstage and smiled at the children.

  “Ready, Wicked Queen?”

  “Yeth, Mith Gargoyle,” simpered Lucy West. Lee, Bella, and Billy had to admit that she did look rather splendid in her Wicked Queen costume.

  As the applause died down, the Wicked Queen stepped through a cardboard doorway and onto the stage. She stood in front of her magic mirror and declared:

  “Mirror, mirror on the wall,

  Who is the fairetht of them all?”

  The phantomime had begun.

  Chapter 5

  A Screaming Success

  There was one mishap during the beginning of the phantomime. Billy was so nervous that he accidentally knocked the Wicked Queen’s pointy hat off with his bow. The audience found it very funny, especially when Lucy hissed, “You thtupid idiot! You’ve methed up my hair!”

  But things went smoothly after that. There were no more mess-ups and no one forgot their lines. Even Bella appeared to have found her voice again when she came on as Princess Snow Fright. She was a little husky and faint when she spoke, but she sang as sweetly as anything:

  “One day my count will come.

  He has sharp fangs, he’s not so dumb.

  To his creepy castle I’ll ride

  by my spooky sweetheart’s side.”

  “That was lovely,” whispered Lee’s mom.

  “Yes,” agreed Mr. Price. “But I thought all the dwarfs were in this scene? There are only six of them.”

  “You’re right,” said Mrs. Price. “Where’s Lee?”

  It was true. Gappy, Snappy, Flappy, Creepy, Chompy, and Shock were all sitting in their cottage around the fire—but Gnashful was nowhere to be seen.

  Lee reappeared in the next scene, when the dwarfs flew home as bats and changed back into vampires—only to find Snow Fright in a faint from the Wicked Queen’s poisoned apple.

  But after Count Alarming had saved Snow Fright, Lee vanished again just before she sang her song for the last time.

  “Look!” whispered Ollie to Lee’s mom. “He’s behind that tree.”

  “Which one?” whispered Mrs. Price.

  “The blue one,” said Ollie. “Next to Snow Fright.”

  Ollie was right. After Bella’s song, Mrs. Price spotted Lee slipping out from behind the tree to join the other dwarfs. He was just in time to watch the Wicked Queen scream in fury—Lucy was very good at screaming—and disappear in a puff of smoke.

  “And that,” chorused the dwarfs, “was the end of the Wicked Queen. And Snow Fright and Count Alarming lived snappily ever after.”

  The children all took a bow amid cheers and clapping. Ollie and the other werewolves bayed and howled, and the mummies flapped and waved their bandages. The phantomime had been a terrific success.

  Mr. and Mrs. Price and Ollie left their seats to go backstage and congratulate Lee.

  Excuse us,” said Mr. Price as they pushed along the row of zombies. The zombies were the only ones not applauding wildly.

  They sat in total silence, staring blankly at the stage. As Ollie went past, one of them turned to his
wife.

  “Mildred, my dear,” muttered the zombie. “When does the show start?”

  Chapter 6

  The Mystery Guest

  “Well done, Lee!” beamed Mr. and Mrs. Price when Lee had changed back into his normal vampire clothes. “You were great!”

  “Yeah,” said Ollie. “That was a scream.”

  “Thanks,” smiled Lee.

  “Just one thing, Lee,” said Dad. “Why did you keep hiding during Snow Fright’s songs?”

  “Yes dear,” said Mom. “Didn’t you like Bella’s singing? We thought she sang beautifully.”

  Lee grinned.

  “Thanks Mom! I mean, er … it’s kind of a long story. I’ll explain on the way home.”

  Billy came over with his mom and dad.

  “Phew!” said Billy. “I’m glad that’s finished. I’d rather do math any day!”

  “But you did really well,” said Mr. Price. “We loved that part where you knocked off the Wicked Queen’s hat. Brilliant comedic timing!”

  “It wathn’t meant to be funny!” came a familiar voice. “Billy totally thpoilt my hair.” Accompanied by her mother, Lucy West stomped past them with her nose in the air and a furious look on her face.

  “Please don’t fret, my precious Lucy,” said her mom. “Why doesn’t Mommy buy you a present to cheer you up?”

  “That’s right, you w ill!” snorted Lucy. “I want a new houthe for all my Tranthylvanian Families!”

  “Yes, precious.”